Why Did God Invent Little Brothers?

Hello readers, who if you are still reading this blog, are more dedicated than I can express. I know, I know the 'UPDATE!'s have been mounting but I actually have arelatively good excuse (well not for last week, but that doesn't count). You see for the past week my stupid computer as for no apparent reason whatsoever, decided not to connect to the network, and therefore to the internet (I am only typing now because I have managed to steal my step-dad's assistants computer).

And before that I was in the fabulous Middle Of Nowhere (otherwise known as Waikawa) spending an exciting weekend doing absolutely nothing (aren't you jealous?), but I'm not complaining, well not about the trip anyway, I am in fact instead complaining about little brothers.

When I heard I was being given a free return ticket to Middle Of Nowhere with complimentary 3 night accomadation (spending money not included) I was rather excited, not so much because I got to go away but because it meant I got to get out of going away to Waikanae and therefore be stuck in a small out amount of space with my infuriating little brother for the entire weekend. Instead I was stuck in a small amount of space with someone else's infuritating little brother for the entire weekend.

Although I am a huge showoff, I prefer to show off in person where I can actually control what people see so I get rather agitated when I find myself written about in a way that I have no control over (it's a good thing I decided not to be an actor, either I'd be poor and destitute or on the off chance I became successful I would have a heart attack every time I saw myself in a tabloid) so for the privacy of said little brother (who really doesn't deserve it) I will not use his real name. Hmmm, I think we shall refer to the boy in question as Adolf, no maybe a little too harsh, Humphery will do.

So I turned up on Friday in my new chucks and skinny jeans, with my bags packed, completely unsuspecting as Humphery answered the door that I was, in fact being greeted by the devil child. I started to have a few suspicions in the car when, supposedly lacking space, I and Humphery's older sister who will be named Antigone just because I like the name, were showered with abuse such as 'fat' and 'bitch'. However, being the optimistic and naive thing that I am, I blithely put this aside and tried to remain hopeful that this misguided child was really a stunning little angel underneath.

Alas, night came and I was proved to be the one who was misguided. For Humphery, it seems, values sleep alot less than I do and proceeded to demontsrate this to me in the form of pokes, throwing pillows at me then stealing them, talking to me, and googling at me as if I were an animal in the zoo.

Luckily for me I had watched a philosophy video the night before about Seneca's theory for dealing with anger and extreme irritation so I was able to stay relatively sane, if a little sleep deprived. This technique also enabled me to calmly endure I number of other incidents that, for the sake of brevity, I have omitted.

And so the weekend rolled by with me getting very little of the sleep needed or (and this sadly I cannot blame on Humhpery) very little of the work I needed to do, done. But as I end this post I must share with you the conclusion I came to on the last night as I heard Humphery desperately trying to restrain from poking me and attempting in vain to lie still so as not to disturb me, I realised that perhaps the poor child is not so bad after all (wow, Seneca's theory really works) and that with time he may grow into a reasonably well functioning member of society (which is, of course, the highest aspiration we can hope for for little brothers). So i will leave you with this final message - don't hate or persecute little Humphery, he needs love and compassion to nurture him into the lovely person found deep, deep inside, just never, ever sleep in the same room as him.

You Have Been Warned.